


Pineapple On Pizza

by Septictrash247



Series: Tales From The Alabaster Table [5]
Category: Jackespticeye - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Arguing, Boys Kissing, Dark gets owned, Dark's a worry wart, Darkiplier abuse, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyone hates Bim, Gay, Gay Panic, Jack is a sneak, Jack is the chill pill, Jack knows all, M/M, Mark doesn't give heads ups, Mark gay panics, Pizza Day, Pizza discussion, Sweet, The Ipliers need to chill, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Wilford is kind of a big deal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 03:29:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19348594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Septictrash247/pseuds/Septictrash247
Summary: No one:Me: Mark brings Jack to a meeting, properly, for the first time in order for him to get acquainted with who he is. Dark doesn’t think it’s such a good idea, but who honestly knows with these two?Or, the one where Mark and Jack start to argue about the acquired taste that is, pineapple pizza.





	Pineapple On Pizza

**Author's Note:**

> This was gong to be a one shot but I always manage to write way to much about feelings in order for plot to come through. Sorry. The title will come to play in the next chapter, and I am working on other things too, don't worry.
> 
> Iplier bickering is my absolute favorite thing right now.

         A meeting was underway. But this was no ordinary meeting. Mark was coming.  _ The _ Markiplier was coming. However, it wasn’t like the Ipliers had to do anything special, or impress him. There was honestly nothing to impress him with. Nevertheless, it still felt like Dark - to him at least -had to go the extra mile to prove that he too, had things under control. I mean, why would Mark want to come down there for anyway if there wasn’t a problem? Perhaps he was being too paranoid with the possibility of being replaced… Thrown back into.. Into… 

 

He shuddered at the thought, his own form cracking, jolting every so often. He was pacing now, and that wasn’t a good sign. Dark was so on edge that he jumped nearly out of his skin when he felt a hand grasp his shoulder. “I think you need to have a drink, and relax.” A slurred voice said with way too much confidence. Dark looked over his shoulder and glowered at the pink mustached ego, straightening his jacket for the tenth time. He needed to keep his hands busy, needed to look busy. “That’s easy for you to say.” Dark muttered his reply, and cranes his neck over a bit more to glance at the others who had arrived. They didn’t seem worried, in fact- they seemed more alert and excited then he had ever expected. Was it really just him who felt this way? Mayhaps. But again, it was understandable. The rigid ego turned back towards his long time friend and spoke in a low tone so that the others couldn’t hear him. Features still tight with concern.

 

“If there’s a problem. Even the tiniest inkling of a problem, my ass is on the line. Not yours.”

 

“Darky, spoiler alert.”

 

Oh yeah, Wil would tell him if anything was going to go wrong right? The idiot could be self aware enough for Dark’s own benefit, so he trusted him explicitly when it came to this sort of thing. The shade leaned in, black eyes wide with intense focus as he let the elder finish. “You’re going to embarrass yourself.” Followed by a wide cheeky smile. Pink eyes glimmering with mischief. Dark felt his shoulders sag and his bangs furthered to cover his left eye to amplify that he wasn’t happy. He then glared heavily at the elder, but Warfstache didn’t even flinch as he sipped at his martini. When Dark made no move to cease his glaring, Wil- with wide eyed innocence -glanced to the right of his shoulder and calmly stated, “Door.” To which the reply was, “What-“ then the door swung open and unfortunately, Dark looked back in time to have the metal offender smack into his face. “Hello everybody.” A familiar, and much cheerier voice entered the room. Wil smiled, and reached behind his creator to set door ajar. “Welcome welcome. How have you been my good sir.” The eldest ego beamed as he wrapped his arm around his shoulder in an attempted hug. Mark, just smiled and noted how everyone perked up with enthusiasm. “I’ve been doing great! But, you probably already knew that.” Wil nodded in thought as he turned to the shade, still behind them. “Lookie here Dark! It’s Mark, and the boy is doing just fine.” The king of shadows groaned from his spot, still rubbing his nose that was a bright shade of pink from the impact. He moved himself forward and through gritted teeth, he looked to his superior and grunted, “A pleasure as always..” Mark bit his lip and smiled sheepishly. “Oh, I didn’t know you were back there. Sorry.” Dark- still not satisfied -begrudgingly shook his head in dismissal, holding out his left hand for Mark to shake. “Salutations, Mark.” He said with his signature formality. 

 

Mark and Warfstache both shared a look as they both snickered at this. “By god man, why so toplofty? It’s only Mark.” Wilford teased, pinching Dark’s cheek. That only rubbed salt in the wound. But Mark took his hand anyway and shook. “Indubiously Wilford, I conquer~. Salutations, Dark!” Mark smiled in greeting, putting on a very fake snooty accent. Dark bristled in annoyance, but he held his tongue as he sat down on the empty seat closets to them. “Mark I’m pretty sure that’s not what that word means.” Host- on the other side of Dark -pointed out. But Mark only shook his head, turned to face his assembly, and clapped his hands together to grab everyone’s attention, his smile softening. It was pretty amazing to see that Mark- literally in a room full of copies of himself -was the definite original. He commanded a kind leadership like role in most things he did. He had always held that quality, and it was wonderful to see that aspect of his identity fully realized. Dark- despite finding Mark’s antics a little much at times -still respected that quality about his originator.

  
  


        “So, guys. I know this is, kinda sorta- out of the blue, but I came here today to tell you all something important.” The elder of them all glanced at the door directly behind his person. They noted how he bit his lip nervously and started to shift his balance. He seemed, not quite uneasy, or anxious, but maybe perhaps.. Overwrought. If Dark wasn’t the only one who noticed it and if no one was saying anything thing about it, he wouldn’t bother commenting himself. So, he allowed him to continue as Mark let out a gentle sigh on his own behalf. “The um..” The creator cleared his throat nervously, and Dark would’ve mistaken him for the timid doctor Iplier if he wasn’t in the room all ready. The shade went to say something but was quickly cut off as Wilford beat him to the punch. “C’mon! Spit it out. If you wanted to leave us in suspense then you’ve already done a fairly bang up job already!” Mark pursed his lips in thought and seemed to consider his first egos words. He tensed his broad shoulders before relaxing them, and in one breath he let out, “IIIIIIIIIIII-broughtJackwithme.” Dark could feel a pin drop. He now fully understood why Mark was so nervous, the thought slowly came to him as he hesitantly finished for him. “..To meet us.” The answer was meet with a small little nod, and the assembly behind him glanced at one another. If Dark had ever been an honest man, he would say that admittedly- if everyone of his egos was a testament to these facts -that Mark wasn’t always shown in a particularly good light. That didn’t mean he was evil or a bad person, but he was; arrogant, competitive, melodramatic, bossy, a little manipulative, temperamental, introverted, emotionally reserved when it mattered, or too impassioned, and that tended to put people off on their first encounter with him. All Dark saw was so many negative influences around him and, granted he was a big source of those emotions, but at least he was necessary. The adult. The one who got things done. Mark needed his drive and perseverance, but someone for someone who was arrogant like Bim? Or what about the immaturity of Bing? The seer whiny and grouchy nature of Jim II? Or- Oh Jesus they were screwed. There was no way- Mark already had his heart broken before, and made himself distrust a lot of people. He always put up this wall around him, which is why whenever he hugged a fan- though he always was sincere in his appreciation -was less than heart felt. This was big. This was a break it or make it moment, letting Jack-  **_Jack_ ** in on meeting these aspects of himself. All vulnerable and raw. It was a bold move to say the least. Everyone was nervous now, even Wil’s smile faltered a little. But that was nothing to the sheer panic that spiked up when the Irishmen stepped in.

  
  


        “Wassup?” 

 

Jack wasn’t intimidating per se. But, there was just something about his wide blue eyes, his never fading smile, his soft and kind features that just seemed to radiate purity. It was very hard pressed not to be a little self conscious around that kind of energy. This definitely caught Mark off guard as he stumbled with his words, rubbing the back of his neck. “Haaaaaa.. You were standing there the whole time! Greeeeat. U-um, Jack, guys. Guys, Jack.” They all decided to be more reserved, keeping their greetings to a simple hello or a gentle wave. Even the more outgoing egos seemed to reserve their actions in order to try and keep from embarrassing Mark. Jack quirked an almost unseen smirk and rose an eyebrow in Mark’s direction. He said nothing however as he expected Mark to continue. “So, I suppose I should like, introduce them or something..?” Jack only chuckled and shook his head fondly, a thing he always did when Mark was making a fool of himself. Or being cute. “Can I do it? I wanna guess!” He stated with child like stubbornness, already starting to bounce in place due to excitement. Mark stared and blinked blankly. “Uh.. Be my guest?” He stepped aside and Jack took a good look at then all. Bright blue eyes scanning nervous brown eyed men. He would lie if he said he wasn’t slightly power hungry and took his time picking the first ego to start with. Anything to keep the other on edge.

 

He decided to start on his far right of the room and walked over. He gave a small skeptical look, and Dark honestly couldn’t really tell what the point in guessing was supposed to do. Jack knew about the egos, he’s watched almost every video of Mark’s, they followed each other’s fandoms, so wanting himself to guess their names was… Bizarre to him. He started with Silver Shepherd, a pretty hard ego to recognize if you weren’t aware of Mark’s old collabs with Cyndago. “Hm..” He snapped his fingers once he got it. “Shamelessly unabashed, totally brave right? Not afraid of anyone’s opinions?” S.S stared for a while, a little confused as to what he meant… Silver Shepherd? Dark would describe him as pretty stupid but, he would admit... Another word for it would be unabashed. Shepard nodded softly with no response really prepared. “I, thanks?” He stated hesitantly, and luckily, he had his mask off so he wasn’t hard to understand. Jack waved a dismissive hand and simply shrugged saying, “Nah, don’ worry about it.” With an exchange of a terse nod, the Irishmen moved on. 

 

His smile widened as he came across Bing. Ah Bing, the one who came up with all of those crud dick jokes and got Mark to giggle over the stupidest- and most childish -things. Dark cringed at the thought that this… Frat boy was even a fraction of himself. Surely this is where it all went down hill- “My dude, my party dude! Sense of humor. Love it.” Or not? Bing, slyly- for Bing that is -lower his glasses enough to the edge of his nose, eyebrows raised up in surprise. Clearly he had not expected such a warm greeting either, as well as letting his movements fall so naturally into place as Jack lead him into a complex handshake and fist bump. “Uh, mutual, my dude?” Obviously Bing was just as confused. Jack just continued to smile his fucking innocent smile, and leaned up just enough to mutter something to the other android. “Yer probably my favorite.” He sounded, so.. Sincere. Bing was at a lost for word but his smile and brightening highlights that made up the emblem on his shirt told the story. Once again, Jack just moved on down the line. 

 

Dark watched on, very confused as to what was happening right now. Was the Irishmen…. Taunting them?  **_Him_ ** specifically? He turned to Warfstatche for help but, the elder just grinned lazily, seemingly to be the only person that probably understood it all. But, was he going to tell his colleagues? Uh, NO. Because he’s a trollish dick. Sorry…. His anxious thoughts got the best of him.

 

Regardless, Jack moved down the line to a much more confident ego. Bim made the first move, as he was the most out going out of all of them- besides Wilford -and took his hand graciously in his. “Hello, nice to meet you.” His hooded gaze and wide smile did wonders in presenting a very charming image. But Jack was already aware that this was a clever facade. As soon as he stepped up, Jack knew what he was in for and fed into Bim Trimmer’s ego accordingly. “You want to guess my name but allow me to try and take a shot at yours,” He purred delicately. The fair skinned man just rose an eyebrow, obviously intrigue. “Sure, I’ll bite.” He concluded, trying to hold back a snicker as he heard one of the Jims mumble out, “You already know his fucking name is Jack, how could you NOT know by this point? That’s bullshit..” The TV persona didn’t seem to hear it, and if he did? Wasn’t even worth his time to acknowledge it. Bim he just took Jack’s hand, rose it too his lips and answered smoothly. “Enticing.” 

 

_ Hates him _ . Everyone hates him right now. 

 

But, the younger played into the guessing game, not at all phase. “Nice, my turn huh?” This knocked down the self-regarding man down a peg as he kind just cleared his throat and let go of Jack’s hand. “I, er. Yes, go ahead.” He answered unsurely.  “Hmmmm,” Jack hummed in replied, his hooded gaze and smug grin was a complete mock of the first impression, adding into the sheer humiliation the other felt. “Well swave boi. Imma go with talent.” Bim perked up, Jack nodded to himself in conclusion, as he continued on.“Yep, there’s no question about that, you’ve grown a lot. M’ proud of you.” Not even a second went by before he was pulling Trimmer into a hug. The cannibal hesitantly, due to utter shock and feeling warm sentiment-- slowly hugged back, feeling… Different. Dark was starting to feel it as well, the burden of baring a solume weight in his chest was lifting. It seemed that everyone was feeling that way too.

 

Jack then stepped over to Warfstache, and while shaking a finger gun at him he chuckled and cheerfully greeted the pink mustached ego. “There ain’t no question as te who you are is there. You n’ both know it.” Wil pretended to be bashful and literally brushed the comment aside. “Oh staph. I don’t know what you’re referring to.” The younger giggled. 

 

Fucking  _ giggled _ . 

 

“Imaginative, theatrical, playful.” he spoke while shaking his head fondly. Wil in response shrugged. “Please, only call me playful in bed~.” This time Jack laughed and clapped his hands together. “Damn it! As soon as I said it, I knew! I was thinkin’ te exact same thing!” Wil chuckled and shook the boy’s hand. “Good of you to join us friend.” he answered with welcoming warmth that honestly Dark-- and even Mark, forgot he knew how to do. The elder meant it too.

  
  


It was then that Dark saw what Jack was doing. He had already known about Mark’s anxiety and his constant streams of down talking towards himself. He also must’ve known how nervous he was about bringing the Irishman along. Jack was turning around the ego’s bad traits and making them positive! 

 

How-- 

 

Dark was dumbfounded as to how a person like him could be so... Nice, without any ulterior motives. Regardless, it sure made the tension lighter, as everyone’s spirits lifting slightly, and the proof was in Mark’s stupidly happy face. The doof beamed brightly, posture a lot more straight as Jack went down the list, no signs of wavering at all. Treating each aspect with the same amount of care and respect as he did the others. The list went on as such; Ed was impressively persuasive, King of the Squirrels was a very admirable animal lover and down to earth, Dr. Iplier had unwavering and steady control over his anxiety, but never let it outshine his kindness. One can only imagine the blush on his face just then. The Jims collectively made up his favorite parts of Mark and together they were what made him, him. As in, Jim I was very resourceful, Jim II was sweet with childlike innocence and temperament, Jim III was very resilient, and a hard worker, and Jack expressed that he was thankful for always pushing Mark to do his best even when sick or not there one hundred percent. This was surprising considering that the Jims were often grouped together or seen as insignificant. Google,--who he called Markus out of respect for Chase’s wishes --he saw him as fiercely protective and loyal, holding a solid golden heart. Google wasn’t sure what to say, but he quirked a small smile nonetheless. As for Yandere, well, he called him passionate the source of all of Mark’s geekiness for space and what not. And Erik- their newest little guy of the bunch -he gave him a huge hug and told him that he had like the young one for who he was, insecure but sympathetic.

 

And then the attention was brought to Dark. Dark of all people. He wasn’t the type to be intimidated and if this were a standard one off meeting, he would have no problems putting the younger in his place. But well, with Mark standing right there-- the pressure seemed to build as he didn’t want to mess this up. Still, he rolled his neck and stood a bit straighter, puffing out his chest. He was an alpha male damn it. 

 

Jack had to focus really hard on not snickering when he saw that forced display of dominance, which really was a massive insecurity. He couldn’t believe the other was trying so hard. Now to Jack at least; Dark meant pride. And if there was one thing Mark was full of it was massive amounts of pride. That in itself was both a good and bad thing. Mark was charismatic, a charmer, hard working, confident. He didn’t care about how he looked to people, wasn’t concerned with making them like him. Mark came first, and that was okay sometimes. It was all thanks to Dark. But with an ego that big, he could also get too full of himself. So what do you do with a huge ego? Easy, you knock it down a few pegs by humbling it. Being mischievous as he was smart, Jack knew the right phrasing of words that would make Dark chill for a moment.

 

As the monochromed ego watched the younger look him over he felt inclined to swallow a lump down his dry throat before speaking on his behalf. “I am sure we’ve met, though formally is a different story. Just call me-“ Jack didn’t miss a beat. “Tall, dark, n’ handsome?” He finished with a cheeky wink. The ball was in Dark’s court now and he was utterly dumbfounded. Sure, Warfstache flirted, and it wasn’t as if Dark couldn’t cook up a charming remark here or there when he wanted to, but never had someone voluntarily flirted directly with him. He felt his face go warm and his mouth dry up, realizing he must’ve looked foolish; standing there speechless and all. “I..” he started to try and say but nothing came out. 

 

On the other side Wilford crosses his arms, smirking fondly at Dark’s failure to recover. The others, and mark, held back there snickers. 

 

Jack too found this very amusing but well, not sense in humiliating the poor guy in front of his peers, so he smiled and lightly patted Dark’s shoulder. “Nah m’ jus’ foukin’ with’cha. Nice to finally meet you in person, Dark.” He voices out Dark’s name slowly, as he held heavy eye contact to show that he was aware that that wasn’t the older ego’s name. Dark licked his lips and cleared his throat holding out his hand as a form of  extending an olive branch and thankful Jack took it. “Likewise.” He concluded. Now that the introductions were finished, the Irishman glanced over his shoulder sheepishly at Mark. “Well? Did I get it right?” 

 

“Uh, heh. More or less.”

  
  
  


        The room had settled down, and the group made themselves at home while Jack was the center of their attention. They had no problems opening up to him in the slightest after that. It was at this time that Dark stole Mark away from the room in order to talk with him outside and away from everyone for a little heart to heart conversation. Once the door was closed, the creator let out a little sigh of relief, shoulders laxed, a tired smile planted itself upon his lips.

 

        “Well that could’ve been a whole lot worse. Leave it to my overactive imagination to be trampled by the unrelenting bitch slap of reality, am I right?”

 

He stated cheerfully. But his happy ramblings halted upon seeing Dark’s more than pleased face. He peered down, shoulders square and nostrils flaring slightly as he breath what seemed to be pure disappointment. “A little forewarning… Would’ve been preferable.” Slowly, angrily, but still calm. His tone was just barely above a whisper. A toothy and sheepish grin tugged at the corner of Mark’s lips, dimple resurfacing. “Aw c’mon. You’re just mad that he totally made you flustered.” He snapped back at the originator, pride clearly wounded, whether the darker counterpart was willing to admit that or not. “This isn’t about him!” Hands flying up in a desperate attempt to show the transparent, nonphysical problem. 

 

“If this was to shield me from worrying, than you don’t know yourself very well at all. I could’ve planned more effective and efficiently had I known that this was what you planned to do! I, stressed over the wrong elements thanks to you, and now I’ve been made a fool of. How is that okay?!”

 

Mark’s features softened, eyes gleaming with a shred of sympathy and a bit of guilt. He can be a real asshole sometimes, and Dark did have a point. No matter how skewed the idea or detrimental his actions and thought pattern could be sometimes, Dark was here to help him. The leader had not been doing anyone any favors by keeping his most valuable traits in the shadows. He placed a hand upon his counterparts shoulders and sighed glumly, wincing up at the other in an unspoken plea for forgiveness. “You’re right… As always. Sorry, sorry I didn’t mention this.” To which, the much more stoic version of himself relaxed, ever so slightly. “Well,” He started, his anger subsiding. “Alright, I guess I can, put it behind me.” He surrendered. Mark quirked a smile and patted the other’s broad shoulder and glanced back at Jack and the others with a found smile. “He really had us figured out huh..” The question was rhetorical, but Dark still made it a point to follow the leader’s gaze and observe what he had meant. Dark had expected things to get worse. What he hadn’t had predicted, was the fact that with Jack being here... It made the experience a whole lot better. From one ego to another, the Irishmen continued to bounce off of them with encouraging kindness and the right attitude. In fact, Jack was positively glowing. He had managed to meld in with each other ego perfectly, despite that fact that his own egos- His own personality, was somewhat the imposing opposite of Mark. But somehow, with the originator of all that; intelligence, wit, positivity, and energy, he had managed just fine. Right now him and Bing were testing his true Irish nature by having a competition to see how could drink the most amount of cups in the quickest amount of time. All containing water of course; Mark was allergic to alcohol, and Jack was not a big drinker. Everyone seemed to be having fun. Dark glanced to Mark’s soft smile, and looked back to the upbeat younger. 

 

Mark really did care about him, but more than Dark was probably prepared to admit. Despite the obvious troubling possibilities with this union, what mattered at this point in time was Mark’s happiness. Dark complied to his creators whim and he too, swallowed down his complaints or apprehensions with a deep sigh. “So it would seem.” He agreed as they watched the man that had brought a little sweetness into their lives.


End file.
